Liz here. I think y’all know I have a hard time with the word NO. But it’s especially true when it comes to my DVR-I just can’t say no to all those shiny and new Fall shows. But there’s always a few that get dumped before I even watch one episode, (sorry 2 Broke Girls!) and a few that I can’t WAIT to sink my teeth into each week (Helloooo Once Upon A Time).
But just like any relationship, sometimes things go sour with even the best of shows.
You know how it is-things start off and you’re just so excited to see them. You think about them when they’re not around, you talk about them incessantly to anyone who will listen. You may even get irrationally angry when others block you from seeing them. (Um, yeah, sorry about that, Mike!) Then, things may start to cool off a little. They seem to get comfortable and stop caring about how they look. Or maybe they start trying a bunch of new things that, well, are LAME. All of a sudden it’s been two, maybe three weeks since you’ve seen them. And before you can say Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, your former favorite show has become (gasp!) irrelevant!
And yes, Project Runway, I’m talkin’ to you. Like Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, Chuck and Lost before you, I’m thinking of dumping your ass.
I LOVED Project Runway. Like put the kids to bed, order sushi and force my husband to watch, LOVED it. Christian Siriano made my heart sing and Mondo’s F’ed up patterns intrigued me. I didn’t even mind that Heidi Klum seemed to be pregnant every fucking season. Hell, I even stuck with them when they moved over to Lifetime without High Def TV and watched that terrible Models of the Runway spinoff! Because even though I could barely see what the hell they had made without HD, I didn’t care. I was there for the DRAMA. So when they announced Project Runway All-Stars, I was jumping up and down with joy.
All my fave designers! In ONE show! How could they go wrong? How could they mess up PERFECTION?
Well, they did. Let me count the ways…..
But wait, before we get into all that, I’ve got a copy of Gunn’s Golden Rules by Tim Gunn. Just leave a comment and I’ll choose a lucky winner on Sunday January 29th after 6pm PST. Good luck!
WHY I’M JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU(ANYMORE):PROJECT RUNWAY
1. The poor man’s Heidi Klum Where the F is Heidi Klum and who is this imposter they have hosting the show? I sincerely hope that she’s not as uncomfortable being on TV as I am watching her on it. Make the cringing stop. Please. And she doesn’t even say that German bullshit at the very end when the designer gets kicked to the curb. WTF!
And while we’re on the subject of Miss Klum, so freakin’ bummed to hear about her and Seal. I really was buying in to their whole perfect relationship thing. *cue mental image of Seal serenading Heidi with Kiss From a Rose each night*
2. The New Judges Where is my boyfriend Micheal Kors and his barbs? Nina Garcia’s knowing smirk? And Isaac Mizrahi as a replacement? Really? That’s the best you could come up with? And don’t even get me started on the fact that MISS PIGGY was a guest judge last week. Because she’s a fashion EXPERT. Come on!
3. That British chick Okay, what the hell happened to Tim Gunn and who is this bitchy Brit with the bad haircut? Her utter disdain while in the workroom makes me uncomfortable. And not in a good Real Housewives of Atlanta sort of way.
4. The Designers Between April’s gray hair and Austin Scarlett’s scarf and bolo fixation, I’m not feelin’ my fave designers. Where is Kenley’s cattiness? Why isn’t anyone talking shit on Michael? When did Rami learn to do something other than draping? Where is the DRAMA? Do they really think we actually tune in for the designs? Jesus, I haven’t been able to see them clearly anyway the last few years!
5. High Definition TV Sooooo…the lesson here is to be careful what you wish for. I lamented the last three seasons about the lack of HDTV on Lifetime. But little did I know how disconcerting it would be to actually see my favorite designers so UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL. Did Mila always look so sweaty in the workroom? Was Kenley’s lipstick always that red? Did Micheal’s eyebrows look like that before? It’s creepin’ me out.
So I’m sorry Project Runway, it’s been real. But I just moved you below Spongebob on my DVR playlist. And we all know what that means-You’re out. Auf Wiedersehen! Oh, and Top Chef? I’m officially putting you on notice.
What about you? Any shows you are dumping this season? Tell me!