“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” -Ferris Bueller
We were so sad to hear about the tragic death of Writer/Producer/Director John Hughes last week. And we can honestly say that his teen movies had more influence on us than we care to admit. As children of the 80′s, we pined over Jake Ryan (would still do him!) considered taking up the drums (go Watts!) and debated endlessly whether Duckie’s creepers were cool or not. (Liz was for, Lisa was against.) No other filmmaker captured teen turmoil like John Hughes. And in our humble opinion, there’s been no one quite like him since… (Who else could make us want to dye our hair red and wear mens’ blazers like Molly Ringwald?)
And it’s almost scary to think how influential these fictional teens were in our angst ridden, dramatic, very real teenage lives! (Sorry Moms–yet again!) From Pretty in Pink (Liz’s fav) to Sixteen Candles (Lisa’s fav) to The Breakfast Club (isn’t it everyone’s fav!?) here’s what we learned from watching our VHS tapes of these movies over and over again and what we continue to learn as we watch them on TBS over and over again.
* You should never, ever, under any circumstances (not even when you take pity on a nerd) give your underwear away. But if you do give in and give your panties to the prepubescent geek, make sure he charges his friends more than a dollar a pop. We say at least $5 for boy shorts and $10 for a Hanky Panky thong!
* Just say N-O to that weird new guy in town who keeps screaming, “Hey Sexy Giiirrrlllfriend”. And whatever you do, DON’T climb on that exercise bike with him… even if you’re sporting horrible headgear and think he’s the best you can get!
* On that note, think twice before taking a foreign exchange student into your home. Long Duck Dong would be fun for about five, maybe ten minutes!
* DON’T let your friends cut your hair when they’re hammered, even if it is caught in a door. Someone will open it eventually!
* It IS possible get the Jake Ryan’s of the world to notice you! (Note: this particular lesson led to ten years of dating assholes. Thanks John!)
* There can be major benefits to paying attention in your computer science class, ladies. Mastery of MS DOS+Barbie Doll= Hot older boyfriend with special powers! (We’re thinking a George Clooney robot could be hot!)
* Never underestimate the power of a Cougar! Kelly LaBrock had it going on and paved the way for the rest of us!
SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL
* If you live on the wrong side of the tracks and insist on dating outside your pre-determined social circle, beware of the asshole with the feathered hair and “super cool” Mustang convertible!
* You CAN rock a super-short boyish do’ and a leather jacket and still get a guy to fall in love with you…AND buy you some diamond earrings! (A lesson Lisa put to the test in the late 90′s!)
PRETTY IN PINK
* When your choices are to date either “Steff”, “Blaine” or “Duckie”, you’re basically f*cked!
* If you hate wearing pink (like we do) you’re basically f*cked!
FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF
* When you ditch class and need a mode of transportation to get you in to the city, don’t take a Ferrari. Take the shittiest car you can find. No one is checking the odometer on your mom’s 85′ Taurus!
* Never underestimate the power of a memorable movie line. Even *cough* twenty years later, Lisa can still be caught saying, “Bueller…Bueller…anyone, anyone?”
THE BREAKFAST CLUB
* Detention can play tricks on your mind. If you’re kept locked up long enough, you can start thinking Judd Nelson is cute.
* Always wash your hair. Even if you can land the jock with your greasy locks, is it really worth it to forgo shampoo?
* No matter how many movies Anthony Michael Hall starred in, we still never found him cute! :(
xoxo, Liz & Lisa